What is public speaking self-confidence (and why it’s different than you think!)
developing self confidence comes from knowing you’re going to be okay, no matter what happens.
Improving public speaking self-confidence is about trusting your skills, accepting mistakes, and choosing to put yourself out there anyway.
Public speaking doesn’t always involve a crowd. Job interviews, meetings, and other ‘high stakes’ scenarios can also result in public speaking anxiety or nerves that prevent you from doing your best.
When this anxiety arises, the focus often shifts to the way you appear to others instead of the work you’re doing yourself. This can spiral into a cycle of ‘what if’s’:
‘What if I fail?’
‘What if they think I’m unqualified?’
‘What if I mess up?’
These ‘what ifs’ can make it difficult to concentrate in public speaking situations and prevent many professionals from taking chances, learning new skills, or reaching their career goals. Perfectionists and high achievers are especially likely to get caught up in the cycle of worrying about how people see them, rather than trusting the work they do or how they see themselves.
Public speaking self-confidence takes a different approach. Improving public speaking self-confidence is about expressing yourself more freely, trusting your skills, accepting mistakes, and choosing to put yourself out there anyway. Deep-rooted confidence comes from knowing you can handle the emotional outcome of the public speaking situation: sweaty palms, forgotten words, and all. It’s about knowing you can handle the feelings you have afterwards, no matter what they might be. In essence,
Public speaking self confidence is the belief that you’re going to be okay: no matter what
Falter during that job interview? I’m going to be okay.
Forget some words during your presentation? I’m going to be okay.
People can see how nervous you are? I’m going to be okay.
Although many people associate self-confidence with the way someone looks or acts around others (like nonverbal qualities you notice in a colleague or a way of speaking you admire in a friend), true self confidence comes from within. This kind of confidence has more to do with our willingness to take risks and be vulnerable—even when situations don’t go as planned.
In the words of Lisa Bilyeu, co-founder of Quest protein bars, radical self-confidence is “the ability to believe in yourself even when you have insecurities, are vulnerable or feel like total $hit.”
Mistakes or failures don’t undermine your talent, experience, credibility, or self-image. When you know you’re just as ‘enough’ if something goes wrong, you’re more likely to take risks, get out of your comfort zone, and make tangible improvements in your life—all of which will help as you progress in your career.
Public speaking self-confidence looks like:
Expressing ourselves clearly or freely
Trusting ourselves and our speaking abilities
A willingness to be vulnerable & learn from mistakes
An ability to be present in the moment
That special quality around someone’s tone, posture, or presence
Rather than relying on external validation such as positive feedback from others, public speaking self-confidence is built by focusing on your own abilities and learning to trust your skills. In the words of clinical psychologist Dr. Joan Rosenberg, it’s the “deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever you pursue.”
Public speaking self-confidence feels like:
Trusting your skills
It’s hard to develop self-confidence without trust. Knowing you can handle the outcome, no matter what it may be, means being able to handle the possibility of mistakes, criticism, or even failure. For that, you need to trust in your talents and what you can do well, enough to accept both your mistakes and your achievements. Even if you stumble this time, you know you’ll get back up again in the future.
Owning where you are
You don’t need to perform perfectly in every situation to know what you’re good at. Mistakes happen, and even experts aren’t immune: doctors make mistakes, lawyers make mistakes, and even professions like fingerprint examiners are prone to error. Accepting where you are and what you still have to learn can give you a more objective outlook on your skills: one flubbed interview doesn’t mean you’re not qualified for a role, and a few mistakes during a presentation doesn’t mean you’re not capable of captivating a crowd.
Having fun
Feeling confident enough to jump into a new challenge or opportunity without fear not only helps in your career, it’s also fun! When you can trust your skills, own your strengths, and be willing to make mistakes, you’re less likely to approach public speaking situations with frustration or dread—making a difference not only in the outcome, but in how you feel along the way.
Being brave
Lecture led, skills-based group workshops not only provide the exercises and materials for you to develop your public-speaking skills, they also get you over the hurdle of speaking up and working with others.
Group sessions and activities that help you practice your new skills are all steps you can take towards changing your relationship with fear. Registering for a public-speaking group program or attending 1:1 sessions can help stretch at the edges of your comfort zone and start building the public speaking self-confidence that makes you both braver and happier in your career.
Lecture led, skills-based group workshops not only provide the exercises and materials for you to develop your public-speaking skills, they also get you over the hurdle of speaking up and working with others.
How do you define self-confidence? Has reading this article changed your mind? For many people, reframing the way they see self-confidence can make the concept seem more realistic and easier to attain. After all, trusting your skills, taking risks, and getting out of your comfort zone isn’t just great for your public speaking abilities—it’s also a lot of fun!
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