Get our free workbook to help you map out and practice situations for overcoming the fear of public speaking. In this guide, I help you identify creative ways to get practice with public speaking and you’ll rank them from least to most anxiety inducing. It’s this kind of courage and effort that will help you build your public speaking self-confidence.
Favourite Books
The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
In the Spotlight by Janet Esposito (don't judge a book by its cover, this is a must-have for public-speaking anxiety)
Quiet your Mind and Get to Sleep by Colleen Carney and Rachel Manber
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Own your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Self-Doubt & Succeed in Life by Lisa Orbé-Austin PhD & Richard Orbé-Austin PhD
P.S Check out a list of my self-confidence reading picks over on the blog (here)
Favourite Psychology/Business/Personal Growth Podcasts
The Dhru Purohit Podcast (previous host of the 'Broken Brain' podcast)
Finding Mastery by Sports Psychologist, Dr. Michael Gervais
The mindbodygreen podcast with Jason Wachob
The Otherwise Intelligent Women by Kattie Thorndyke
The Daily Stoic podcast by Ryan Holiday
Favourite Apps/Meditations
Purely Being | Guided Meditations
Libby (Toronto Public Library app)
obé fitness (my go-to fitness app)
Using terms like public speaking anxiety to describe the experience can create a negative relationship with speaking itself. When we talk about the ‘symptoms’ associated with our fear (like shaky hands or a racing heart) we end up associating the fear with something truly dangerous.
When we avoid situations with public speaking, we end up feeling even more tense about the experience. Over time, our worries are reinforced by the negative cycle of fearful thinking and avoidance - which only leads to more fear. Even the most seasoned public speakers feel some level of fear, but too much of it can hold us back from saying yes to an opportunity or experience we might enjoy.
People with public speaking anxiety often feel like the fear is something they have to conceal. They often ask if there are and tricks to keep your voice from shaking. Fortunately, research has given us plenty of solutions and tools to stop a shaky voice - as well as the ways to understand why it happens in the first place.
Group work is inherently social, so the group setting is a bonus for those with a fear of speaking in the workplace. Not only is group therapy more affordable, group therapy can be just as effective, if not more so, than one on one. The fear of public speaking is rooted in concerns over other people’s perceptions of us.
One of the questions I ask all new clients struggling with public speaking anxiety is, “do you feel like you need to conceal this problem?” The answer is almost always yes. People usually talk about the judgment they anticipate having to face—the kind that can result in pity, discomfort, negative evaluations and even demotions.
Many people have butterflies when getting up in front of a crowd. However, people with public speaking anxiety feel these jitters on another level. A racing heart, shaking palms, sweating, dry mouth, lightheadedness, or nausea can all be byproducts of the panic and dread associated with this kind of fear.
When our body is busy fending off panic and adrenaline, our thinking is less clear. It’s harder to concentrate, and we’re less likely to perform at our best. Research on social anxiety suggests that this is exactly what ends up happening: when we’re anxious, we perform poorly compared to our non-anxious peers.
Bridging the gap between where you are now and where you’d like to be is easier when you can unpack, dissect, and be curious about why you’re feeling scared
Public speaking doesn’t always involve a crowd. Job interviews, meetings, and other ‘high stakes’ scenarios can also result in public speaking anxiety or nerves that prevent you from doing your best. When this anxiety arises, the focus often shifts to the way you appear to others instead of the work you’re doing yourself: but true self confidence is knowing you’re going to be okay, even if something goes wrong.
The single most beneficial thing you can do to show up as your best self in this lifetime is to develop self-confidence. I’ve carefully curated my top 10 favourite books to help you discover the best, most confident version of you. happy reading!
Bayley Levy (@itsbayleysworld) invited me to speak on her podcast to discuss the origins of public speaking, why it’s so hard, and what we can do to better manage our fears.
It’s not that goal-setting needs to go out the window, rather we might want to alter our approach. It requires being agile, perhaps modifying our definitions of achievement and focusing on what I call “activity goals”.
The personal compass is a soul map, personal blueprint and self-made guide to help you gain clarity on how you want to feel in your life. This kind of soul work is needed to do the goal work in our lives.
One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves in the pursuit of living an intentional life is getting clear on how we want to feel. You’ve probably noticed many people selecting words of the year right now, which I’m all for, but they don’t help us with the ‘how’ or the discovery of how we feel when we feel at our best. In this exercise, you get to review a list of over 100 feelings to create your top 5 words, deep-seated, transformative feelings so you can simplify your life.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed or the effects of performance anxiety nothing feels more soothing than having a simple and supportive emotional toolkit of mindfulness practices to choose from.
The greatest life lesson I learned this year is that while hard work will get you there, I don’t need to overdo it. Destination points are arbitrary and the ability to surrender is just as important as persistence.
Are your self-doubts getting in your way? In this podcast episode, I speak to Dr. Tracy Dagleish, clinical psychologist and host of the podcast, about what impostor syndrome is and how it interferes with our ability to reach our potential.
Does the thought of speaking about yourself make your heart race and palms sweat? In this podcast episode, I speak to Emilie Aries, founder of BossedUp about how to develop public-speaking self-confidence. We talk about the power of visualization and why it’s so hard, the tendency to become self-focused when we are nervous, breathing techniques, and so much more.
Enduring stress (you know...the kind that the whole global population is living right now with COVID-19) makes us want to act fast when what we actually need is to act slow - to stop, to think, and to broaden our perspective. How do you do this when you’re maxed out? Here’s an idea. Make the first and last action item of your day saying thank you.
Dozens of studies, including my own, have shown that anxious candidates fare worse in the job interview process. There are many reasons why job candidates tend to receive lower performance scores. But for now we will focus on one factor that seems to improve your rating of interview performance when you’re nervous: PREPARATION.
Here’s the important thing about public-speaking anxiety and many forms of anxiety: the more we panic and resist fear, the more power it has over us.
Research is beginning to show that we might have it all wrong - that if we want to help individuals who experience speech or performance anxiety, we shouldn’t be telling them to calm down.
Fear is a normal part of life, but it becomes problematic when your fear turns into avoidance and begins to run your life. For those with public-speaking anxiety, we look for any excuse to avoid speaking in front of others.
Some people like 1:1 sessions, others prefer group workshops and then there are those who are looking for DIY strategies. Having a blog and presence on social media is one way I hope to start a conversation and resource library for people who are looking to reduce fears they have related to public-speaking.
Fear less, not fearless: Why accepting our fear of public speaking is the pathway to personal success
When we meet for the first time, most of my clients say their goal is to totally extinguish their fear of public speaking. However, this not only sets you up for black and white thinking—’either I get rid of my public speaking fear, or I don’t!’—it also makes the goal less attainable and reinforces the idea of the fear being a ‘bad’ thing.